I’d worry less about the spider bite, and more about how utterly empty your life is.
I’m sorry, I’m sorry. That’s much too harsh. Okay, here are the cold, hard facts. You are either immortal, or Spider-Man. Luckily, there’s a quick test you can do to check which. Just answer these three questions:
1) Can you remember long-ago periods in history, and do you perhaps wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat after dreaming of the Mongul hordes?
2) Have your friends and loved ones died around you, leaving you a lonely, broken husk of a human being — afraid to make a connection with someone, anyone, for fear of losing them?
3) Can you “do whatever a spider can”?
